Same thing all over again.

10 02 2010

I’m so fucking sexcited I’m on www.singaporeair.com checking out flight tickets now. The last I checked in early January (yes, I obsess psychotically about the near future) it was $900+. It has since dropped to $868. If I’m not wrong, it should be Spring now. When it hits the dead of winter in say, around May or June, prices will plummet.

Rachael will then crawl to work despite incapacity/infirmity/injury to stock up on leave. She will mysteriously disappear at (most likely) Terminal 3 one day. Upon stepping through departure gates she will no doubt be bombarded with SMSes or even calls (those desperate idiots) to acquire Duty Free cancer sticks. 10-15 days later, she will reappear in Singapore, distraught and dazed, loaded with alcohol from DFS (probably bought from her mother or mother’s colleagues), smuggled Australian wine, cheese, alot of Supré clothes (there’s no running away from this Roro) and a shit load of paraphernalia attesting to love and all its many splendoured cynosures. And as many items that can trap a person’s scent as humanly possible.

(I have somehow come to believe that as long as the scent can last me until I next see him, I will not wither and die. I think it’s the same way a child believes if she can make it across a floor without stepping on the cracks, she might get a pony for her birthday.)

And swiftly transported home by either a very openly concerned mother or a pretending not to be so concerned (but actually fretting more than Mom) father – if mom is on duty at airport – both who’re always afraid these trips do her more harm than good. And oh-so-weary and resigned to my melodrama-crazy-escape-to-another-continent-to-meet-someone-I-barely-know nonsense. But now they know his face, his name, and have seen him almost naked on many occasions, so Grace isn’t going to go on and on in Hokkien (which she only does when she’s agitated) about how I could be kidnapped, how she cannot believe I am flying over there for someone I only met twice, for someone who may not even show up at the airport, Oh-my-God-I-thought-he-was-your-secondary-school-classmate, no-Ma-you’ve-seen-all-my-secondary-school-friends-I-don’t-know-where-you-drew-that-assumption-from and other such trains of thought/speech/panic attacks.

If both parents are unavailable, she will hop into the nearest cab, take herself home and straight to bed and curl up there with some article of clothing seething with the very scent she so complained about months ago and nasally devour it until it lulls her to a fitful sleep.

One week period of uncontactable silence will commence, whereby one-line blog posts will come fast and furious, all attached with the “devastated” tag, written by an inebriated author who can find no more in herself than to languish in bed, the Baileys never too far away, and Photoshop away like a maniac.

Then the massive amounts of photos will start popping up on FB. Photos that will uncharacteristically not feature her. In almost every picture you will see a black DC cap on a head upon which it has taken root and grown symbiotic with. A black DC cap which has never been laundered since date of purchase. (Eee.)

I can’t wait.





Undisclosed Desires

10 02 2010

I know you’ve suffered
But I don’t want you to hide
It’s cold and loveless
I won’t let you be denied

Soothe me
I’ll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine

Please me
Show me how it’s done
Tease me
You are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart





Seaweed Mask and Orgasms.

10 02 2010

I suddenly crave the scent of the seaweed mask R got for me for my birthday. It’s a very cooling scent, sweet in a natural, mellow, wholesome way.

I was insomniac most of last night. I don’t know if I slept at all or simply went into some semi-catatonic state. I was too hot, then I was cold. I wanted more space and then I wanted to hug something. All the while subconsciously searching for the familiar scent. The slightly saccharine Palmolive on warm skin. Wasn’t there. I am going to die when March swings around lor.

Can’t get the content of last night’s MSN conversation outta my head. “Some women are unable to experience orgasms.” Omg, the horror.





Pains.

10 02 2010

The Ponstan (painkillers) label says “Eat after food. This drug may cause gastric pains.” Or something like that. I didn’t eat breakfast today, as usual. And when I woke up the lower wound was hurting almost as bad as day one so I popped 3 painkillers, 1 Paracetamol + 2 Ponstans. I hate the Paracetamol, it always gets stuck in my throat; feels and tastes like shit.

It started off as hunger, then hunger pangs. Only when the pangs got unbearable did I ask the auntie to make milo. By then it’d grown to gastric pains. The milo didn’t help at all. This new auntie’s milo compared to Ghandi’s super power milo, is an epic fail and does nothing for hunger. Ghandi’s milo; half cup and you can skip lunch. Went to the toilet to try and get myself together. I thought I was gonna get a major blackout there and then.

Anw, I’m better now. Gonna survive. UNSW. Wow, nothing can get me down today.





UNSW. (:

10 02 2010

Got a missed call from Reuben last night. If I’d picked up, I would’ve screamed.

Dear God,

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

The appeal has been approved.

I won’t be flying to Melbourne except to visit Joanne or something.
OMG. 13 MIDDLE STREET, SEE YOU SOON!

Irritating climbs up the hill, late night gaming, seeing Kan again, PRC-style overloaded-with-chicken-salt hotpot and the park and dining table. Hehehehe. Yay.

I’m happy for you, little punk. I am. (:





Straight vs Gay.

8 02 2010

A straight guy will climb the fucking ladder to fix the light bulb. A gay guy will pick up the phone and get a (straight) professional to do it, all the while ogling his ass as he lounges on the sofa, rock glass in hand.





My name is Rachael and you always do village-idiot things to irritate me.

8 02 2010

Girlfriend has a capital G. I wonder if that means I’m like an authority. Oh who am I kidding. I know I am. *flips hair over shoulder*

But you make soup almost at my papa’s standard, so I shall bully you less. Then again, your porridge is so-so only, and you like to put redundant ingredients that are there just to create taste but you don’t take them out so I have to fish them out myself which dulans me.





Rah rah rah ah ah!

8 02 2010
  1. I can’t get enough of Bad Romance.
  2. The dentist extracted my tooth both by yanking and loosening with a chisel-like instrument to the rhythm of Bad Romance which was leaking out the earphones. I raised my hand to be allowed to speak and demanded to know if that was what he was doing and he said yes, dancing a little. I think I swore.
  3. I kept looking at what he what doing. And everytime I saw the anesthesia needle I’d go “Oh no, it’s coming for me!” to which he exasperatedly told me not to look. So I shut my eyes but before I could I saw the clamper-extractor thing that looks like what you’d use on a Sri Lankan crab and went “Oh God.” And he said again, “Aiya! Don’t look!” I thought I heard him asking the nurse for something else. I assumed it was the needle. Speaking of the nurse, she’s a really comforting presence. Always holds my hand no matter how hard I grip and still uses her free hand to pat the back of my hand when she isn’t passing Dr Quek anything. I think she’s the same one I grabbed the previous time. Dr Quek has an annoying joke of asking “Are you alright?” and when I gag out some incoherent reply he’ll say “No, I meant my nurse. Please don’t injure her hand. I still need her to help me with this.”
    While he was doing the last of the anesthetics, I opened my eyes suddenly and said “Omg, it feels like you’re pulling out my tooth.” And then I realize he’s holding the clamper-extractor thing and he’s got this what-the-fuck expression on his face and he said “Because I am! Oh my God!” And I’m like, “Oh, already? Oh okay.”
  4. I was charged $30 for multiple injections of local anesthesia. This wasn’t in the previous bill. -_-
  5. Clovis, second son of Louis, manager and god-dad of Reuben, is so cute. Everyone calls him didi cos he’s the younger of two boys. I don’t have much patience for the older one, who’s quite a smart mouth but like fat and disobedient. I appeared at Sakae Sushi where Reuben was eating with his godpa, his godpa’s two boys and another colleague and didi took off his sandals and raised them up. “My new shoe nice?” Apparently he’s been asking everyone that. And when they all took off to the counter to foot the bill I stayed back. R tried to usher me in the same direction as the rest but I said “I want to carry him.” He was the only one left on the seat. And he walked right over on the long seat, arms outstretched and into my arms!
    As naturally as that.
    Imagine that, a 3-year-old child voluntarily walking into my arms and allowing to be carried. No crying, no whimpering. And hey, I apparently don’t look like the Wicked Witch of the West or something! It’s an epic moment. Thus invalidating my resigned monstrosity to children aged 12 and younger.
    Still can ask me, “Got see my new shoe? Nice?” Told him I liked his shirt. He looked confused. He’s also very light and easy to carry cos his arm comes out to hug your shoulder. Suddenly I think I might have more than one child. Maaaybe.
  6. Dr Quek is being very drama about not putting his fingers into my mouth.
  7. Where the teeth were extracted it hurt like a motherfucker just now. I started to cry right there in the toilet of 313 while changing the gauze. Omg it hurttt. Felt like the canine was dying or something from the pressure exerted on its neighbour. Came out with a damn nasty craaack too that pre-molar. Thank God, all extractions are OVER. Can’t wait to put the brackets in after CNY. Woots.
  8. I had a bad feeling I would be sibeh dulan with John after I saw Reuben and I was right. Damnit.
    So I channelled the mangzangness of the pain into my SMSes. It’s like back to square one after 200+ dollars you know. His hair is dark again and he cannot stop screaming about how he wasted so much money just to get some hair color he was born with, he misses his blonde hair (Dear God) and yada blah. John insisted it’s dark gray brown and that I should return to the salon and he’ll show me the color chart. Like hell I will, I was in fetal position on the cab seat, head on R’s lap and trying not to let death by pain claim me. So I told him to bring the bloody chart to Butter on Wed to explain to me. And then I might just not appear to be guai lan and he can club carrying a huge color chart. Neh nehni poo poo.
  9. Ewww! I just felt a piece of hanging flesh with my tongue. Omg which came right off when I sucked on it. I spat it into my palm expecting to see a tiny sliver of meat. But it’s a blood clot. Eeeee. Never saw such a huge blood clot since the last massive period which was at least a few periods ago.
  10. I will crawl to Butter this Wednesday if I have to. It’s the last chance before CNY.
  11. BKK is on the cards. (:
  12. I am once again waiting for porridge that might take 4 hours to cook. Sigh.
  13. On leave tomorrow. Let’s hope this heals fast. Gotta go to the bank and make a few transactions. Money runs out fast these days.




My Name is Reuben and I got access to my Girlfriend’s Blog

8 02 2010




Protected: A memory like mine.

2 02 2010

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